broken

I have 6 friends who are losing their boyfriends/fiance's/husbands to the war in the next couple of days. They're all shipping to Iraq for a year.
My heart is breaking more and more every day for them. It's been a sad thought for a couple of months now but now that the day is approaching for them to leave.... I can't even explain it. I talk to these girls and all I can do is cry with them and have my heart break for them. They're losing night after night of sleep, not studying because all they can do is cry and the thought of sleep is revolting because they could be spending those hours with him.
It's understandable, because I hate letting go of mine for a week! I don't want to stop hugging him and just want to soak up his scent so that I can remember while he's gone. I've never gone more than a week and 2 days without him and can't stand the thought of 2 weeks. Now try the thought of a year, while he's got bullets flying at his head.
The best I can do is ask each and every one of you reading this to pray for all of them, for a year.
One of them just got engaged, another just got married, another has a 2 month old baby, etc etc.

Thanks, and here's a huge GOD BE WITH YOU to all of them!!!

Home again, home again

I'm back! Yay!

Had a really great break and 4 1/2 days at home. Lots of good family time- my boyfriend, all my grandparents, my parents, and 2 little brothers (long story). Plus I got to talk to my uncle on the phone and cousin for a little while. I love vacations from school and family time!

I got to be the chauffeur all weekend. My brother and his social life don't really work too well with the loss of his license. It was kind of fun though, driving them around and hanging out with them.

Tony and I went to the Parade of Lights on sat. night. It was soo fun! Cold, but really fun. All the floats and people are covered in lights. The parade passes right by my moms work so we got to hang out inside before the parade and get our fix of hot cocoa. The parade was short but that's probably good since it was so cold.

The big news of the weekend!: We talked to my parents this weekend about our intent to marry. After a fairly good conversation, we have their blessing and approval. I even have their approval to take off the spring semester from school!! Yippee!! It's such a relief to have that over with and know that we're all the same page now. We talked about the wedding a little the next morning at breakfast and it's so great to have them involved now.

Only 2 more weeks of school for me for a really long time!!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!!!!! I'm going home for a wonderful holiday of food with my boyfriend, parents and grandparents. Does it get any better??? I hope you all have a wonderful week and weekend, even for my non-thanksgiving friends!

Oh, you know...

I LOVE my job!!! I feel like it's such a privelage to be there, and I get paid! Man...

In other news-- we cleaned out my room this weekend at my parents house :( They're pretty ready to get rid of me! The bed is still there and dresser and stuff because it's kind of a guest bedroom now I guess (for now). I have clothes in the closet, but that's it. So sad! Some people's parents try to hold on to them and the way things were but apparently mine are ready for me to be gone!

cheers!

Here's to my roommate! She got engaged last night and I'm uber excited for her!! Her ring is a silver, princess cut solitaire- very cute.

Congrats guys!!!!!

life

Leslie, my dear kindred spirit! I have a ton of emotions running through my head and I was just thinking the exact thing that your blog said, right before I read it.

I don't understand life right now. My life is the essense of a roller-coaster. Right now it's down (only in the past couple of hours, true to it's theme park ride condition, I was up for the whole day until now) and I truly feel like I have no one to talk to. I can't tell anyone what's going on because humans judge. I can't be 100% real because I don't want my friends to think I'm stupid or realize that my life truly is a roller-coaster. I don't want people to un-fairly judge my relationship, or my emotions. So for that reason all I can do is cry out to God, and then just cry. I don't want to whine, just vent. If I don't have anyone to talk to, I might as well vent, right?
I'm stuck between viewing myself as unfortunate and realizing just how blessed I am. Earlier in my outcry to God, I asked him why I can't have what everyone else has. Then I had to stop and wonder what that was about, because for that past couple of months I've wondered why it is that I've been so lucky and so blessed compared to the majority of people my age. I just don't get it. I wish I could blame it on PMS but unfortunetly it's real, not emotion-driven.
Anyways, I'm off to check laundry.

stressful

I'm starting to freak out... I'm sooo stressed! Nothing beyond january is known at this point. I have no idea what I'll be doing, where I'll be living, who I'll be married to...... oh wait, that one I do know, it's more WHEN. agghh!!!
Do I go back to school next semester or take the semester off? If I take it off, where will I work? Will I even be able to find a job? I'll be kicked off my parents insurance so how will I be insured? Can I afford that?
When is a good time for us to get married? Will my parents be okay with that? Will all my friends/family be able to come? Will it be a good time for us both to plan? Will we get a honeymoon with that date? Should we do it when we want or wait until the responsible time? How do I balance keeping my emotions in check while still remaining excited? Are all of these thoughts even healthy before I'm engaged? But I need to know in a mere 2 months!! I HAVE to think them now! Will I be lonely in a new town? Will I hate the school? Will I hate being so far away from my family? What if something happens and I can't get home as fast as I'd like? What if no one comes to see me because the town is so far?

If you know me at all, you know that planning is a huge part of my personality. I can't do with all these unknowns! I'm going crazy and I can't just put them aside because their all important and all must be decided soon! I can't talk to my parents about it without being engaged (I just can't) and I can't pressure him to make that happen.
I know the answer is trust and God, so why can't I put that into practice?

Yay!

We need a bit of prayer, if you all wouldn't mind. Making a huge decision within the next 2 months!!! Pray for guidance and peace about it. Thanks!! :)

Pumkin

Today I had a pumpkin chai... I'm in love

Anniversary

We had such a fun anniversary! Started with dinner on sunday night- incredible, beautiful, delicious restaraunt in a little mountain town. We had the best food ever, followed by an insane dessert!!! Was called triple chocolate something or other, and it beat out my favorite olive garden dessert which was un-defeated until now! It was really tall and round- brownie on bottom, choc. mousse stuff in the middle and then the top was like sweet/dark chocolate drizzle with some other creamy stuff. Simply amazing.

Then on monday we went to Panera for lunch which is where we became official last year- eating lunch there. I was about to take a big bite out of my sandwhich and BAM, big old ugly FLY in my sandwhich!!!!!!! We showed the manager and got free dessert, so it all worked out.

Pics are up on smugmug, go see them!!!! And I have to add, since Brittanie pointed out: Yes, we did stop kissing but theres one on there of our Anniversary kiss :) Don't worry, it was just for the day, we're back on again and I wasn't lying!

Nov 7th!

We're a year old today!!!
How do I make this darn smile go away? :)

Photos!

I have a new photo blog! Go check it out! www.kayrenepictures.blogspot.com (also linked under 'my pictures')

Also, does anyone know why my info and links are so far down the page now??

How I Love Thee

It's finally NOVEMBER!!!! October drug on like nobody's business!
I hope November goes much quicker. In a couple weeks the holidays start! Lots of hot chocolate and family time! I can't wait