Discontentment
I'm having a really hard time being content lately. I'm not happy with anything right now. I don't really deserve to be discontent, either. By that I mean that I'm far too fortunate to be unhappy. I don't really have enough to do nowadays and I can't do lonely so I fill my time trying to pick up a million extra hours at work, wasting time on the computer, and of course- sitting around and being unhappy. I think the problem is that my happiness has for a year now come in very large quantities from one specific person. That person is backing away from me more and more as the days go on so now I'm just left to sit around thinking about everything that I would like to be different. I want to be married, I want to be out of school, I want to be sure of everything, I want friends again, I want less bills, I want, I want, I want. When I get married and am out of school, I'm sure I will look back at these days with longing at times. The security and routine of that will probably get old fast. So then what? I'm really sick of this state. I'm so incredibly unhappy right now and I guess maybe I just want to find contentment in my current situation, again. How do I obtain that?? And how do I find good healthy things to do with my time so that I don't go crazy???
1 Comments:
I have, many times, become very depressed. I have , many times, been discontented with all of life, finding no joy in anything, looking for any shred of happiness. I have discovered that my problem, most of these times, is that I'm angry that I'm unhappy. You don't need anyone to preach at you right now so i won't. But what i will say, as someone who has traversed the unhappiness-world for many moons, is that happiness will come and go, it is not promised by anyone, it is as much a part of life as unhappiness. There is a time and season for everything.
Post a Comment
<< Home